Long Time No Blog...

It's been a while since I last blogged. Probably because I felt I had little to write about. Also because it was so busy! I was exhausted.

But enough about me, now on to Pepper.

Since climbing Flat Top, Pepper has been doing good, not a whole lot of adventures. We settled down at home as the climate got colder up here.

She goes to doggy day care once a week, just to keep her social with other dogs and people. She loves the people there, and has made a few buddies. Which is good for her! She's a pain out in public. She feels the need to bark and act threatening towards all other men. This attitude is so annoying I'm considering a shock collar just to get her to quit it. But at least she's friendly towards little dogs and some women.

We also started dog training with Alaska Dog Sports. I'm hoping to build her confidence, maybe move on to cool things we could do together, such as agility or rally.

I'm on the verge of giving up.

She is insanely difficult to work with. If I have a treat in my hand and I call her to me, she cowers, runs away from me, and pees. If I stand upright, I can't get her attention at all, I have to crouch over, but that intimidates her sometimes. They suggested I train her up on a table, but she's too scared to focus and will spend all the time trying to get down. Her "sit" is optional, her "come" takes an extra 15 minutes of waiting for her to finish cowering in circles and peeing on herself. Her "stay" is non-existent. We are on week 3.

Most leash work involves her yapping and squealing because she'll tie herself up by spinning in circles around me in panic.

It doesn't help that I am normally short-tempered. I don't have patience. My natural self wants to smack her upside the head and tell her "Cut it out!" when she starts acting so afraid. And yet I know that when I get aggravated, it only makes her MORE nervous, and then she avoids me more.

AAAGH! Why couldn't I have adopted a more normal dog? With less issues? A more confident, happy dog!? It is just easier to leave her be for the rest of her natural life...

Then again, her natural life could be another 10-15 years. Do I want her being a little snot for that long? Nope.

All venting aside though, I know why Pepper and I get along so well. We are perfectly compatible. I am the same way! Fear cripples me, lack of confidence and low self-esteem often have me cowering in circles instead of doing the things I know I could be doing. I could be a lot more than what I've accomplished at 26 years of age, but I'm always afraid to try, so I never commit. I was the girl that never (and I mean, NEVER) played any sports. I was afraid I would never be any good at it, so I'd rather flunk PE and not even try than to put in effort and not be good at it. I've never done anything competitive - specially not physically. I've never tried to be the best at something for fear I'll fall short, so I'm always mediocre.

On my list of fears are even baking, following recipes, or cooking for more than 5 people. The expectancy of failure, the fear of criticism, keep me in the background. And it's ridiculous, even as a type this, but true.

Now we both have this fear obstacle to overcome if we're going to do any better than where we are. But how can we work together? How do I translate confidence in doggy language? How do I acquire confidence for myself?

Might be too deep of a thought before I can blog on this... But in the mean time, I'll just keep working on Pepper, short sessions at a time, high value treats, step by step. And possibly some yoga for me.

Climbing to the top!

I had one of those experiences w/ Pepper that I know are embedded within my heart... which will make it so much more difficult to let her go when it's time for her to pass away - I know this, and though I don't have to think about this right now, I'm facing the reality that I'm investing my life into this dog and we are building experiences together.

My sister and her boyfriend came to visit for a week. Pepper was a little unsettled at home, though she warmed up to Valen and Ralfie pretty quickly. She was yappy, yappy, yappy! Obnoxious.

But when we decided to go to Flat Top on Tuesday morning, I brought her along. She had not been on a hike in a while, and she's a completely different dog outdoors. At home, she's afraid of strangers, and startled by everything. Outdoors, she greets everyone like long-lost friends, and tackles everything! I don't know how to explain it... I can't prove it. But I took her anyways.

The first part of the hike is basically a long walk uphill. Then there are steps. Pepper handled these in stride. Smelling every flower, going way ahead and then coming back to check on me. Smiling and sniffing every dog she sees.

Then the incline starts building up, as well as the rocks, and the hike gradually becomes more of a climb. She's jumping from rock to rock, working her way up. Still happy as she can be! A little bit more concerned for me. I'm having doubts. I'm terrified of heights, and I'm clumsy. I'm worried that even if I make it all the way up, I still have to face the descent, and I don't know that I can do it. I'm sitting on rocks, catching my breath... pain in my chest and on my knees. I'm so tired of being such a wimp!

And there she is, a few feet above me, wagging her tail with her head cocked to the side as if to say, "Mom, you're coming?"

We get higher still and now it's just a flat out vertical climb. Paul and I finally realize that we've left Pepper a little behind, she's running around in circles but can't really climb up to join us. At one point she tries to make a jump, and slips - a fall that could've taken her down 1,000 ft. Paul catches her by her coat and places her on a ledge. Paul climbs a head of me, I get to a comfy spot and then I pick Pepper up and lift her to Paul with one hand, who in turn lifts her up above his head where she can secure her footing and finish the climb.

Paul and I make it to the top. Pepper's never been more happy to see me! I feel victory. A little bit more confidence. I am stronger and more able then I give myself credit! All four of us (Valen, Ralfie, Paul and me) praise Pepper like crazy. Strangers at the top praise Pepper like crazy (not a lot of dogs make the climb all the way to the top. A few do, but not every dog).

She's checking out the view from every angle of that mountain top.

Then we start working down. She's jumping from rock to rock. Then she gets stuck - there's a point where she loses her balance and slips, turns around, jumps back up. Now she's going around in circles, only every time she does a circle, she ends up back at the top and we are leaving her further and further behind. So we manage to coax her to our level, I grab her and balance her on my lap. She seems to know exactly what we're doing and stays on my lap as I spider crawl/slide on my rear down the crevice of the rock. Up until the can find her footing again and off she goes. One step ahead of me. Checking up on me every step of the way.

We make it home. She gets in the car. She sleeps on my lap the whole way home. She's such a GOOD dog outdoors. She acts so silly at home - specially when you know she can do better! But we're all happy with her. She did a great job!

I wouldn't have made it to the top of that mountain without her. I'm not saying she was my sole motivation. Seeing my sister at the top challenged me because I didn't want to spend time without her, knowing she'd leave home soon and we may not see each other again for years. My husband encouraged me and helped me climb the whole way - didn't give up on me, coached me every step of the way. But had Pepper felt afraid and refused to climb, I would've had an excuse to give in to my fear and stay down with her. And Pepper is usually afraid! But it was as if she was feeding off my need for motivation and motivated herself to go up there as well. She kept me from quitting because I had nothing and no one to quit to.

Up there it was so beautiful I felt even that God was speaking to me. Call me crazy, but I believe He does. There was a stillness and a peace that refreshed my soul. And God speaks to me through my interactions with Pepper - lessons of faith, trust, perseverance, and courage. She relied on her master the whole time. She was willing to go anywhere the master pointed her to go. I could learn a lot from Pepper if I keep my eyes, ears, and heart open!

Bye Mocha!

I've fostered and had dogs adopted left and right. Usually I'm relieved when they are gone, maybe with the exception of Nova... with Mocha, however, it was completely different.

We were sad! Everyone at home moped around all day Sunday after she was picked up by her new owner. The kids even put themselves down for a nap (figure that one out!). The rainy weather didn't help the mood.

I had to ask Paul to help me because I didn't think I could hand her over by myself.

I guess if I look back, I always was happy to hand over the puppies because of the poop cleaning/potty training issues. I would foster them and devote my life to cleaning the floors and mopping, and avoiding puddles. They are cute, but then they chew on everything and eliminate everywhere. And I am eager to get them into their new homes so that they can start bonding with their owners and being housebroken the way their new owners want.

Then I had Genny, who destroyed my house at least twice over, left fur everywhere, pooped/peed everywhere, and knocked me on my face on the ice... I couldn't hand her over quick enough! She was EXHAUSTING! And she howled like a banshee (or a husky mix, which is what she was) every time she was in the kennel.

The problem is that I got attached to Mocha. I loved her like she was my dog. We all did. We pet her, played with her, treated her, walked her, and invested in her emotionally like she was ours to keep. And we had so much fun with her too! And she would love on you and look at you with a face that said, "I love you. And I'll be loyal to the end!"

So I wanted to find her a good home - and I did! And I handed her over to a home that would be better for her than the one I could provide. We may have loved her, but we couldn't accommodate her needs. We lived in an apartment. We don't have a fenced yard. She really didn't have the space that a husky/shepherd mix requires. And I knew that we weren't going to be able to commit, long-term, to exercising her the way a husky/shepherd mix with her energy requires. So the love that we all had for her also led us to make the decision: We have to let her go. We can't adopt her. We are fostering her until she finds her perfect "forever" home.

Even if it made me cry a little. Even if I miss her!

I think even Pepper misses her too. She's been needier than usual, just wanting to cuddle, moping around, not really eating. I think she feels she lost a buddy... I wonder if Pepper ever gets nervous that one day she'll be the one to go? Not happening. I couldn't give Pepper away even if I wanted to! And we don't.

I do feel a little better reading this update from her new family:

Things are going fine. She’s a lot easier than [my other dog]! They get along fine and she’s totally gentle with my girls. She needs some leash training so she stops pulling but I think she’ll pick it up quick. Today she seemed to be a little more relaxed with life; did a lot more exploring, and was wanting love and attention a little more, so I guess she’s starting to think I’m not so bad. She doesn’t seem to chew on things any more than [my other dog] does so we are already used to that. The cat is slowly getting used to her. Mocha is fine with the cat but the cat is not always fine with Mocha. Given some adjustment time she’ll be just fine. I’ll let you know if we come across any problems but so far we are doing good.

I know we are doing a good thing! I know it's good for us to continue to have our home open so we can keep fostering. I know Mocha will do great! I am at peace about saying good-bye to Mocha.

A Day in the Wild

So we took the dogs camping with us... and 3 kids... makes me think "Yup! Definitely nuts!" But it was actually fun! Mind you, Pepper yapped all through the camp and probably got on EVERYBODY's last nerve (next time? Sedatives... maybe even a shock collar... I dunno... But I can't board her w/ anyone cuz she hates other people!). But the kids had a good time. Pepper had plenty of running time too, she got to explore and smell everything, go into other people's campers and check them out (like it's all good! LOL). Mocha? Not so much. We are one week away from having her adopted, I didn't really want to lose her! Not to mention she would run into the bush and not really come back... And we have to be in the look out for bears and moose... and I've seen what a husky that got trampled on by a moose looks like; it's not pretty! Excruciating, in fact. So around camp she hung out with us, on a leash.

Then we went hiking, and we felt so bad for her... cuz she wanted to GOOOOO and I remember feeling the same way with Pepper on her first hike. So we let her off the leash.... and she did good! She did go farther than Pepper (seeing as she's bigger), which was scarier, but always came back (no duh, I still have her!). She ran off to a lake and jumped in, drank her fill, and came back in less than 5 minutes... But it was nice to see Mocha get to run free for a bit before we "caught" her and put her back on the leash.

Pepper would just run and jump over dandelions. And when I watch her, I can't help but be happy. I don't know why seeing Pepper happy on our hikes makes me so happy. I can just sit down and watch her run around and it gives me joy. I think it's embedded in who I am: I love dogs, I love the outdoors, and I love hiking. I think I'm developing a new passion; photography! I want to capture what I see so others can feel what I feel.

I think as far as dogs go, Pepper has a pretty good life! She's lucky to be with a family that will take her on outdoor adventures instead of leaving her home. Mocha is pretty lucky too, and I know that she will be adopted into the right home where she won't be neglected or lonely.

Pepper is such a buddy to me. She's more than happy to accompany me anywhere... joins me in whatever I'm doing. Hiking is one of those things that we both equally love, and she seems to take in as much of the beauty (but a lot more scents) as I do. Who would've thought? I didn't know that she would be such a compliment to me when I adopted her. But she seems to have picked me - maybe she knew we were a match?

I've only owned Pepper for a few months, but we've bonded in so many ways... The things that are frustrating about her aren't so bad when I take into consideration the dog she was when she showed up to our home that first Thursday night. And she gets a little better, a little social, every time. She is still so willing to try, willing to please. And I guess what I love about being outdoors with her is that we are both in a more natural, relaxed state. We're not trying to please anyone, just being ourselves. And it's good enough out in the 'wild'. It's just good.

Pepper's Foster Sister

So we have a new foster puppy, Mocha! Mocha is a husky (I think potentially german shepherd) mix, 9 months old. Brown and beautiful. She was brought into the rescue as a dog in the Montana Creek raid (if you haven't heard or read this story, click HERE!). She was a little puppy back then! Since January she has been adopted... and returned... 3 times. And I'm trying to figure out why!

We would keep her if we lived in a house and not an apartment. It's ridiculously hard not getting attached to such a beautiful big dog that is so good!

You see, Pepper was technically a rescue FAIL. Because she would've never gotten adopted. She is so "stranger shy" that no one would've come into our home, met with Pepper, and decided to keep her. One look at her growling like Cujo and they would be like, "Ew. Never mind." But she likes us, so I guess that makes her ok.

Mocha, on the other hand, is absolutely lovable (and gorgeous besides)! She is gentle with you, loves children and other dogs. She puts her head on your lap and looks at you with these gorgeous amber eyes and you melt. She is potty trained. She likes to chew but waits for you to give her toys. Or she'll bring something to you and stare at you to see if you tell her "leave it" or if it's ok for her to play with. When everyone is all mellow, she'll just grab a toy and lay down.

I mean, I live in an apartment. She's a husky mix. And we're doing great! That says something. Did I mention she's only 9 months old? So she's an adolescent husky mix (high energy gallore) and she's still very well behaved! She doesn't jump on furniture or on you. She rarely howls.

She does require daily walks, which are strenuous for me because she pulls on the leash... like a mushing dog. She just wants to haul all the time. So we go out for 45 minutes, only walk for about 15, and spend 30 minutes spinning in circles while she's training to loose-leash walk.

She deserves a fenced yard where she can bounce and frolic and play! And a home that will love her and work with her till the day she passes on.

Pepper likes her. I will put Mocha in her kennel for the night and Pepper will jump in and lie on her... and they cuddle for the night. Pepper grooms her (and it gets on Mocha's nerve). And they play tag all the time. Pepper still growls at her if she's going near her food dish or Pepper's cat (Leo, our actual cat. Which Pepper never gave a flip about, but she won't let Mocha near him). But she's more relaxed on our walks around Mocha. And I'm hoping that through this she becomes less and less shy. I want Pepper to be social enough to go to doggy day care and spend the day playing with other dogs and other people. I think Pepper is active enough, and she is a sweet dog, if she can get past her insecurities... maybe it takes a little buddy to help... or in Mocha's case, a bigger foster sister!

Thunderbird Falls

So we went hiking again, only I was disappointed that dogs couldn't be off-leash at this particular trail. So Pepper didn't enjoy it AS much but she hiked 2 hours up and down hill to the waterfall and back. She's terrified of water though (LOL).

She did ok! She even let some kids pet her! They asked me, and I had a chance to tell her to sit and the kids approached her and pet her around the face and she was ok! (YAY!) and then she sniffed other dogs. There was a pitbull on a choke collar that looked like he wanted to eat her and the owners cautioned me that he was dog aggressive... which wasn't easy because the trail is wet dirt road, with a cliff on one side, and doesn't give you room to go AROUND people. So I picked her up and we single-filed past him. But otherwise did ok. Constantly went by the baby to make sure the baby was ok.

I think she enjoys going with us off leash more. She was pulling a little bit, trying to get ahead, and had a bit of a cower the whole hike... I think she felt she was in trouble or something! But man we got home, I let her off the leash while we cleaned out the car, and she was running and jumping and still came to us whenever we called her.

The Food Journey...

Raw? Science Diet? Orijen? Natural?

I thought I knew the answer... now I'm finding it's more of a game of whatever Pepper will eat.

I want her to be healthy. I want her to eat the healthiest possible for her, as a canine, and I quickly figured out by the bouts of diarrhea that the grilled cheese sandwhich Caleb snuck into her kennel is not optimal.

So we have a 25 lb bag of Natural Balance and she won't eat it. Unless I make it a soup w/ some chicken broth. I don't know how often I have chicken broth available, specially unseasoned and unsalted. Not to mention giving her mushy food does NOTHING for her teeth and her breath. So I'm willing to go with whatever works on her teeth.

I got a sample of a Science Diet formula ("Healthy Advantage") that is available through the vet clinic I work at. The kibble is a lot bigger, but she seems to like it. She has been eating every morning and night without adding anything to it. She also gets really excited if I hold the kibble in my hand and I use it for treats in training. She gets as excited about eating this kibble on my lap as she did pop corn. It isn't the most natural formula I've scene but looking at the ingredients it's not that bad (primary ingredient is protein, not corn). I feel like it's going against my core beliefs (LOL) so to speak, but it's working. She's eating. And she's not scavanging for left overs or scraps off my kids.

I like the fact that the kibble is formulated to give her something to work on and to clean her teeth, and she already has horrible teeth, so this is a plus.

I still prefer more natural diets for dogs. I wish she just liked natural balance or wellness and made my life easier. But ok. So I'm thinking that perhaps, I can do half kibble and half natural materials. So I'm not opposed to the raw diet but I am concerned about how it translates; I don't want my dog to get E.Coli, and I don't have the mental capacity to prepare the scientifically appropriate quantities of protein, fiber, and fat out of home-made ingredients... for a dog that weighs 10 lbs and eats about 1/2 cup of food a day. I don't even worry this much about my KID'S nutrition...

... Then again, I should interject that I know how to feed my kids. I know too much carbs will get them constipated, I know how to balance breakfast, lunch and dinner so that they eat all the protein, vitamins, minerals, and fiber that they need. I can choose the kinds of cereal that they like and that aren't all sugar. I can offer them fruit instead of cookies as snacks, and replace their french fries at McD's with apple dippers... And they can always tell me when their tummy doesn't feel so good, or when it hits the spot...

However with Pepper, my furry child, it's not quite as simple. And her diet isn't just about her being fed, but it affects how much she poops (which I clean up), how much she SHEDS (aha! You didn't know that did you? With appropriate amounts of omega 3 & 6 fats your dogs should shed minimally), and how much energy she has. And other than her food bowl looking just as full 3 days straight, I have no freakin' clue what's going on with her!

Anyhow, back to raw... there is a co-worker that gets gravies and raw food frozen, and then you could thaw it and feed it exclusively as the only diet for your dog... or you can use it as topping or for special meals. It didn't sound that expensive to where I wouldn't be able to try it. Then again, I can probably find out these recipies for myself (except if I do that, her food wouldn't have pheasant or bison, LOL). I already tend to prepare "special" meals for her when I get a whole chicken. I'll boil all the chicken, the gizzards, with carrots and celery, but no seasoning at all. Then I take the chicken out, season it and bake it for the family meal. I give the gizzards (unless Paul eats them first), the broth, and the veggies to Pepper for about a week, every other day.

She loves raw carrots though... and that's something I can give to her AND the kids. The kids love carrots with ranch dressing. But they'll also eat fruit and bananas and stuff...

I guess my biggest worry when it comes to dog food is how much is marketing, versus how much is science and dog biology? I feel like every brand is just trying to sell me their food. In the human world, it doesn't work because I know what I want and what I need. In the dog world, how do I know they are not just lying to me to get me to spend money on them? Grrrrr....