Pepper's Progress

I have to say I'm baffled by Pepper every day.

She can be so difficult to work with; shaking, peeing on herself, running back and forth. The first step was to get her to take a treat from our hand without spasm. She's way past that now; she likes being hand-fed! Now there's the "sit", "stay", "down"... There are days where it takes her forever to settle down and understand what you are asking her to do, and days where she does it almost simultaneously as you are giving the command - without fuss or spasm! There are times when she meets a stranger and wags her tail, says hi... other times she goes mini-Kujo and won't let anyone touch her. Geesh. I've decided to celebrate the good days and ignore the bad days.

But there are other areas where there is definite progress. Despite the fact that her potty training is sporadic at best, she is doing a lot better at going for walks in the city, not freaking out w/ traffic, and holding it till her morning walk.

I sometimes wonder what I got myself into. Will it be worth it? Can she be rehabilitated? And then I wonder, why do I want a dog that I need to rehabilitate?

How much of her behavior issues is due to the big mystery of her previous life and upbringing? Or is it due to her neurotic predisposition because of genes and breed? And why do I want to be drawn to these projects of "fixing" these behaviors so that the dog is well adjusted? Well for one thing, to be able to function in society. Pepper will see a vet, possibly a groomer, other dogs, other people. She's not going to spend every day for the rest of her life inside my living room.

I guess the second reason is because I see something in her. I know that her affection is a huge step towards trust and it's not easily gained - all the more why I'm proud of her when she's affectionate with our friends, or more importantly, my kids! I can't guarantee her that my children will never hurt her or scare her (at least, unintentionally) but she chooses to give them kisses and jump into bed with them anyways. And then, there are "lightbulb" moments... Where she stops trembling enough to show you how much she actually understands, and what she is capable of! I guess that's what keeps me going...

And she is impossible not to love when she jumps on your lap, squirms belly side up, and keeps pawing at you to rub her belly, or gives you kisses and rubs her head into your neck. Even Paul can't resist giving her treats when she does a perfect repertoire of "tricks" with a face that says, "Please?!"

All this time, she's never really played with us. She always cuddles, never really engages in a game. Never chewed on anything either. It was hard to reward her, to entertain her when she wasn't getting constant attention. And then one day, I tried a chew stick available at the vet's office where I work. She loved it! She was so happy carrying her treat around... until she brought it by me and dropped it at my feet. So I picked it up and tossed it across the living room. And she runs (what I like to call "skiddadle" because her nails tap across the floor and she seems to be stuck in place) to the chew, and brings it back to me. And I say, "Good fetch!" And we do it again... and again. Then I stop throwing the chew and pick up one of her toys, a plush bone. And we play fetch with it. Thirty minutes go by and we've had our first "play" session, after 3 weeks of being home! She's more and more excited, and so am I.

And this is the moment when the lightbulb comes on for me, when I say that it is indeed worth it.